I spent most of the day yesterday reading through forensics books and making notes and then was up into the wee hours of the morning again writing. Thankfully I have music to keep me company while I write so that dulls the silence a bit. It snowed over night here which only happens a couple of times a year in Vancouver. Other than that there’s no snow, it’s just rainy in the winter much like LA weather.
Speaking of snow, someone sent this to me and having lived in Montreal and Calgary for a number of years I found it amusing so I’m posting it. (no I didn’t write it)
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Subject: Think you’ve had enough of snow have you?
DEAR DIARY,
August 12th - moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It’s so
beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see snow
covering them.
October 14th - Canada… it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
have changed to all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the countyside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly
they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise… I
love it here.
November 11th - Rememberance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can’t imagine
anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love
it here.
December 2nd - It snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow
off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won).
When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the dirveway again. What a
beautiful place. I love Canada.
December 12th - More snow last night. The snow plough did its trick again to
the driveway. I love it here.
December 19th - More snow last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to
get to work. It’s beautiful here but I’m exhausted from shovelling. Fucking
snow plough.
December 22nd - More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on
my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plough hides
around the corner until I’m done shovelling the driveway. Asshole!
December 25th - Merry Fucking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get
my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I’ll kill
the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt
the fucking ice.
December 27th - More white shit last night. Been inside for three days now
except for shovelling the driveway after the snow plough goes through every
time. Can’t go anywhere, the car’s stuck in a mountain of white shit and
it’s so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of
the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches
is?
December 28th - That fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the
shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before summer. The snow plough
got stuck up in the road and the bastard came to my door and asked to borrow
my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling
out all the shit he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last
one over his fucking head.
January 4th - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on my way back a damned deer ran out in front of my car. Did about
$3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. The
bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last
November.
May 3rd - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is
all rusted out from all that fucking salt they put all over the roads.
May 10th - Moved to Florida… I can’t imagine why anyone in their right
mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada.
